My Heart Holds a Cup Full of Sorrow

My heart holds a cup 
full of sorrow; 
’tis beyond what my mind 
comprehends. 
For the cup is so full 
that a single deft 
nudge—
and the cup overflows 
into tears pressing hard 
‘neath my eyelids. 

My mind can only ask, 
“How?” 
How is this sadness so 
real? 
When the source is
unknown
and my circumstance
far from
the soul-rending trials
others have.

My heart hides this cup
full of sorrow;
few even know it exists.
And none—but me—
knows the weight of this
grief.
Grief for what?
I don’t know;
I can’t name it.

Whence the source?
What deep well
fills this cup?
If I knew, I would stop it
forthwith.
I am weary of bearing
desolation.
This sadness—I don’t understand.

My joy and my hope are
half-frozen;
my life, stalled.
I’ve nothing to give.
I breathe and I watch
and I crave
life:
to live without sadness and pain
at my core.

My heart bears a cup
full of sorrow;
sadness I can’t
comprehend,
waiting to spill
yet unable to flow,
for who likes to watch
sadness stream?

My heart holds its cup
full of sorrow,
and mourns that it cannot
know joy.
For it wants—how it longs!—
to know laughter and lightness,
to give
as it once freely gave.
It curses the weakness
that can’t break this cup.

But what can it do
with its sorrow?

-Miss Darcy

P.S. Quite obviously, this poem is more concerned with emotional expression that with “how to fix” anything. I think anyone who has read this blog for long will know that I always hold to hope, and I believe with all my soul in victory. But my hope in sharing this is that someone reading might find an echo of their own struggle—and know two things. Firstly, it’s okay to feel the pain. Secondly, Jesus is not turned off by the prospect of sitting right beside you in that pain.

As always, I welcome your thoughts and reactions in the comments! I ask only that if your thoughts take the form of advice, that you be very specific with your suggestions. Thank you for reading.

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