I don’t know if it’s my personality.
I don’t know if it’s the writer in me, determined to experience any pain that comes my way because “all of life is research.”
I don’t know if it’s my desire to fully acknowledge painful things because ignoring them can create an unhealthy mental state.
But for some reason, I sometimes don’t allow myself to accept comfort.
And I’m not really talking about comfort from other people, although sometimes I just nod and smile and refuse to let their words sink into my soul, or even to ruminate in my mind.
Actually, I often find myself unwilling to take comfort from the deepest source I have—God’s Word.
If I take comfort, am I being fair to the honest questions of others—and myself?
If I take comfort, can I still deal with my painful emotions in a healthy way?
Most of all, if I take comfort, will I somehow sell short the Truth I need to learn through this?
But I’m learning that I’m allowed to take comfort.
When my brain is spinning with all these incredible, deep questions about theory meeting reality and I can’t quite seem to grasp the answers, I can take comfort in the One who knows every answer. Some of the answers I will find in time, and some I won’t discover until He tells me—either on this earth or when I see His face.
It’s okay. After all, I serve the God who commands the morning, and causes the dawn to know its place (Job 38:12).
When my heart is broken and floundering in pain, I can take comfort in knowing that my God has walked through every kind of pain there is—even death—and will walk with me through mine (Isaiah 43:2).
And surely, when I turn to the Truth of the Word to find comfort, then the only Source of Truth—Jesus Christ—with not allow me to be misled.
He is the one whose wisdom set the courses of the stars (Job 38:31-33).
After all, what is comfort but hope and rest? And I am supposed to find hope and rest in Jesus.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
-1 Peter 1:3 NKJV (emphasis mine)
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
-Matthew 11:28 NKJV (emphasis mine)
Jesus Christ is my greatest comfort.
And, yes, I am allowed to accept His comfort without doing a disservice to either my emotions or my intellect. He offers a transcending comfort. It doesn’t remove the pain or the questions.
It’s simply stronger than they are.
P.S. Anyone else noticed a similar phenomenon in your life, this inability to accept comfort and rest?